


Love at First Swipe (working title)

by volleycatnika



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Matt - Freeform, More characters to be added, More tags to be added, Pidge - Freeform, Shiro - Freeform, Swearing, Tinder, YouTube, Youtube AU, Youtube!Au, awkward convos, inspired but not entirely based on my tinder experiences, keith - Freeform, lots of inspiration from game grumps & dan howell, matt says fuck a lot, tinder au, tinder is a nightmare, tinder!au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 13:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15220136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volleycatnika/pseuds/volleycatnika
Summary: "I tried to connect with her over how horrible Trump is and all she wanted to talk about is hookups and communism. Anyway, I would love not to continue these awkward conversations. Let’s find me a new match. Hopefully, we can find a normal person to talk to. You know, when I made this account, I had zero expectations yet somehow I’m still disappointed.”Matt loses a challenge. His punishment is to make a Tinder profile. Tinder is a wild, wild place.





	Love at First Swipe (working title)

**Author's Note:**

> no beta readers we die like men

“So, I lost a challenge,” Matt informs the camera, hands clasped together in front of him. Angling them toward the left, he introduces his dark haired friend. “If you watch my videos a lot, you already know who this is. This is my roommate, Keith. He likes to pop in videos once in a while.”

“Hey, I don’t just ‘pop in,” Keith replies, complete with air quotes and a playful shove, “I’m in almost every video you’ve posted whether I meant to be or not. Your very first video captured me in the background drinking orange juice straight out of the box because you didn’t tell me you were filming. Mind you, because I thought there was no one watching, I was wearing nothing but boxers.”

Chuckling at the memory, Matt reaches behind him and grabs his phone. The battered Samsung with galaxy case and sticker that reads “aliens don’t believe in you either!” is at least four years old, but Matt refuses to upgrade With a rather dramatic clearing of his throat, he says, “that was pretty funny but enough chit chat. Last time, I lost the speed drawing challenge. That fact isn’t too surprising because Keith is a super talented artist. His info is in the description if you are interested in having him draw some stuff for you. As punishment for losing the challenge, I have to make a Tinder profile. I actually made it a few days ago so I’d have some stories to tell. After sharing those stories, Keith and I are going to try to set up a date with somebody.”

Keith gives Matt an awkward shoulder pat as he further explains the situation. “You see, this study addict turned workaholic has never been on a date. And considering all that he’s been through he deserves to have some fun.” There’s an unspoken story waiting to be shared but Matt’s not quite ready to let the whole world know about it. At least not yet. Without a word more, he yanks Matt’s phone out of his hand, grinning as he purses through Matt’s Tinder. “It’s been two days and you’ve matched with 15 people already. Nice job,  _ casanova _ . Now let’s see what you have going on for convos.” 

Humming as he scrolls through Matt’s convos, he soon emits a _tsk_ _tsk_ sound. “So few convos. And _wow_.” Keith’s eyebrows shoot up. “Did you really try to flirt by calling a guy a ‘guitar playing James Bond?’ Dude, it sounds like you’re making fun of him. I can’t believe you ruined that convo before it really even ever started. You’re ridiculous. Okay, let’s move on to your other convos.” With a snort, Keith soon adds, “god, it just keeps getting worse and worse. You and this person have literally only said hi to each other. That’s disappointing but we can work with that. As for your last conversation…” his voice trails off. 

“I know, it’s crazy,” Matt replies, tugging his phone from Keith’s grasp, “I tried to connect with her over how horrible Trump is and all she wanted to talk about is hookups and communism. Anyway, I would love  _ not _ to continue these awkward conversations. Let’s find me a new match. Hopefully, we can find a normal person to talk to. You know, when I made this account, I had zero expectations yet somehow I’m still disappointed.”

“You say that,” Keith chuckles, “but you have Tinder on your home screen. You addicted, buddy? A swipe addict?  _ Or are you addicted to love _ ?” Keith suggestively wiggles his eyebrows.

“Swiping,  _ definitely _ swiping,” Matt replies with a chuckle of his own. “Swiping ‘no’ so often makes me feel powerful, like a dream-crushing god.” To prove his point he spends a good 30 seconds dramatically swiping left, shouting, “nope, nope, nope, nope!”

Pulling the phone out of Matt’s hand mid-swipe, Keith uses his free hand to keep Matt at a distance. “You’re cut off! No awkward conversations or dream crushing for you. I’m in control now. So sit tight and trust me.” A few seconds of silence turns into minutes. During those minutes Matt fidgets, drumming his fingers on the table before them, leaning back in his chair and eventually, just resting his face on the table. “This is taking forever,” Matt groans, “god, I hate Tinder.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to hate Tinder too,” Keith admits, one hand propping up his chin, while the other lazily holds the phone upright. “So many people near us are weird. And what’s with people having their profile pictures of them mid skydive? What are you trying to prove? How did you take that picture? Stupid jocks.” Lazily flicking the screen, he continues to summarize his findings, “and then there's the people who are clearly only here for hookups, then there’s bots and people who clearly haven’t opened their inder since like 2005. Or whenever we were in the pre-forward facing cameras era. That’s what they’re called right? The ones that let you flip the camera so you can take a selfie easier?” When Matt merely shrugs, Keith takes it as a sign to continue. “Seriously, why can’t there be at least one normal person near us?” Tiredness and boredom transforming into frustration and anger, Keith stars to rapidly swipe. “C’mon Tinder, give us someone decent. Or at this recent I’d settle for someone okay-ish!!”

After a few minutes of frantic swiping, Keith makes his first and only swipe of approval. “I found one. He seemed out of your league at first but then I read his bio… ‘Club penguin shut down so I need a new place to meet people.’ Matt, he has the same sense of humor as you. The same, lame, sense of humor as you.” Giving Matt his phone back, Keith ends the video for him. “My name is Keith and this tired lump is Matt and we’ll see you next time. But before you go, if you work for Tinder, please sponsor us! We need money. Okay, bye!” With a small save, Keith turns off the camera.

Once the camera is off, Matt raises his head, his whole torso really, leaning back to stretch in his chair. Taking the opportunity to casually glance at his phone. The photo he sees makes him whistle. “Damn, you weren’t kidding when he said he looked almost out of my league. You sure he’s not a bot? He doesn’t look real.” Swiping past the initial shirtless beachside photo, he finds additional too pretty to be real pictures. The final picture is the only one that makes Shiro feel like a normal person instead of a model or a robot. In it, Shiro is half covered in dirt and soap as the struggles to give an excitable German Shepherd a bath. 

Eyes narrowing at the dog, Matt shifts his gaze from the picture to Keith and back again. “You swiped right for the dog, didn’t you?” Although more of a cat person Keith also likes dogs, often frantically slapping Matt on the arm to point out a ‘cute floof’ being walked across the street.

With a suspicious “maybe,” Keith ruffles his hair before padding out of the kitchen and into his nearby room. “Your sister and Hunk invited me to go play laser tag with them, so I’m going to make myself look like a walking Hot Topic and make my leave. You need anything while I’m out? Food? A coffee? A reminder to keep your end of the bargain?” Snickering as he changes in the confines of his room, he emerges a few minutes later, wearing mostly black (his favorite color) and a Darth Vader graphic tee. 

“Have fun, you pain in the ass,” Matt grumbles, although his smile never leaves his face. “I have to stay here and edit this. And keep my end of the bargain. Maybe I can use my promise as a break from editing this video.” 

“That’s the spirit!” Keith chirps, playfully ruffling Matt’s hair on his way out. When the door closes with a soft  _ click _ , Matt emits a heavy sigh. Just what the hell did he get himself into? He should’ve made the punishment involve a time period, not a date. That way he could play with the app for a week and forget about it. But now he has to go on a date. Or theoretically he does. Maybe he can convince Keith his newest match is too dangerous to go on a date with. Or too weird. Or maybe he can just scare Shiro away. The latter seems to be the best option.

 

[TO: SHIRO] Oh so you’re a serious gamer, huh? Do you play webkinz and poptropica too?

 

Is such a message weird enough?

 

[FROM: SHIRO] I’ve seen some shit when it comes to poptropica but webkinz was a bit hardcore for me

 

[FROM: SHIRO] I gave up and went back to dark souls

 

Yep, he has a lot of weirdness to compete with. As strange as this conversation is, it still isn’t weird enough for Keith to call the whole thing off. 

 

[TO: SHIRO] Don’t forget about coolmath games. And ah yes Dark Souls. A game named after me.

 

[FROM: SHIRO] Homie nobody forgets about coolmath

 

[FROM: SHIRO] School web filters can eat my ass

 

[FROM: SHIRO] And wow edgy as fuck

 

Honestly, Matt’s ready to call it a quits there. But he still can’t help but feel this isn’t enough. Maybe he’s better off bribing his way out of this. 

 

[TO: SHIRO] Two questions.

 

[TO: SHIRO] One, do you really own that dog?

 

[TO: SHIRO] Two, can you send pics of your dog?

 

[FROM: SHIRO] Take me on a date and I’ll show you the whole photo album. 

 

_ Fuck.  _

**Author's Note:**

> if you want more comment below
> 
>  
> 
> or yell at me over on commander-holt on tumblr or akianra on tiwtter


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